Resolutions are made, often soon to be broken by those who make them.
Although resolution is a petty word, I find promise to be more fitting...
A promise to myself. To live each day to the fullest for those who cannot, & keep fighting when I have nothing left to give. To surrender nothing, for no one, never. Compromise myself for no one & know when stripped of everything I have? I have my dignity, that is most important. One missed opportunity is something better waiting to be found, you just have to see past the momentary disappointment to realize what's coming.
& that no one's subjective opinion of your work, determines your fate. Only you have that privilege.
2010 has been an abrupt whirlwind of heartache, disappointment, and joy.
But it has changed everything I've known about my career, and myself. Through spending the past two and 1/2 months in and out of more hotel rooms, train stations, and airport terminals, than I care to recall, to bring me to this place... I would change nothing. I'm beginning to know who I am as a photographer, & I know there's very few things I wouldn't sacrifice to wake up every morning, knowing that it's one more day I can do what I love.
I've found myself greeting 2011 with a ruthless attitude. Not so much out of spite, but of sheer determination. I've been told many times this past year what I cannot do...
I cannot create good documentary video pieces.
I cannot photograph baseball very well.
I cannot get far in this career & have to leech the talent of those around me.
I cannot succeed in a country traveling on my own.
& I won't be traveling to photograph overseas.
2011.
I will go to the 2011 Summer National Senior Games. I will go to the 2011 Eddie Adams workshop. I will have an incredible internship, working with a great staff of photographers. & I will continue to travel, having the privilege to tell the stories of those who I encounter.
To all those who doubted me and doubted what I was capable of...
I'm sorry to disappoint you.
I'm sincerely sorry to put my finger & my portfolio in your face, as a reminder of what I have accomplished when you said I couldn't.
My deepest apologies I persevered.
There is always a light at the end in the darkest of tunnels.
